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Identify recurring patterns across relationships — mapping what triggers the pattern, what you expect, what you do, and the outcome.
Many relational difficulties follow a predictable pattern driven by schemas. This worksheet helps you map a specific pattern across multiple relationships to see the common thread, making it easier to recognise and interrupt in real time.
Use when the client's schemas are primarily maintained through interpersonal patterns — choosing partners/friends who confirm schemas, behaving in ways that elicit schema-confirming responses from others, or interpreting ambiguous social information through schema filters.
Help the client see that schemas don't just affect how they think — they shape how they relate to others, who they're drawn to, and how they behave in relationships. Frame the worksheet as mapping patterns across relationships to identify repeating themes.
For clients with limited relationship history, focus on relationships with family, colleagues, or the therapeutic relationship itself. For those who are highly avoidant interpersonally, the therapeutic relationship may be the primary source of interpersonal data initially.
If examining interpersonal patterns triggers intense shame or distress, pace the work carefully and provide containment. Avoid this exercise if the client is currently in a dangerous relationship (e.g., domestic violence) — prioritise safety planning before pattern analysis.
The most common interpersonal schema patterns involve: choosing partners who replicate early attachment figures, avoiding intimacy to prevent rejection, overcompensating through people-pleasing or control, and misinterpreting neutral social cues as threatening. Map at least 3-4 significant relationships to identify repeating patterns.
Suitable for clients working with interpersonal, relational patterns, schema, cbt, personality, relationships. This tool can be used as a standalone worksheet or as part of a structured homework plan.
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Review evidence for and against a core belief across different life periods — childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
Track schema activations — when old patterns get triggered, what mode you went into, and what you could do differently.
Create coping flashcards that capture a triggering situation, the old unhelpful response, and a new, more adaptive response — for quick reference in difficult moments.
A longitudinal formulation mapping early experiences, core beliefs (schemas), coping strategies, and current patterns — the foundation for schema-focused work.